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TheZebu

124 Movie Reviews

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Thesis of said "Exotic Chocolates"...

Upon viewing the title of this flash, I was remarkably excited- myself being a fan of exotic confections from foreign lands. However, I was most displeased to discover the obscene nature of this cinema, as it portrays a rudely scantily-clad lady consuming semen-filled chocolate candies- the nature of which is poor in taste and appeals only to immature juviniles.

The most obscene quality of this nickelodeon, however, concerns the appearance of the animal-fellow. At first I surmised he must be a feline of some sort, being in possession of a nonprotruding snout, unseen tail, and clearly defined nasal organ. However, I was much dismayed to be informed that this fellow was actually a squirrel of the Rodenta order. I thus demand that you remove the tail apparatus from this character and henceforth define him as "feline".

Furthermore, I hereby quote a preceding insight of this nickelodeon:

" Also, notice that only clock crew retards are voting zero on this. At least Mr. Mathers knows how to animate realistic beings instead of random objects with clocks for faces... oh and he uses actual voice talent, not that obnoxious computerized voice thing."

Clearly this gentleman fails to realize that these said "beings" lack traits defined as "realistic" (being sloppy and cartoonish in nature) and his total FBF animation fails to exceed that of many clock animations. He also employed usage of the word "talent" in defining this movie's voice drama- the presence of which is completley absent, considering that it consists only of a frail little man who must digitally alter his voice to sound humourous, and some whorish woman speaking in monotone.

Overall, I found his assault on the Clock Crew to be fallacious and offensive, considering that these individuals pour much strenuous effort into their production of flash-movies, whereas Mister Illwillpress makes short messy productions that could not have taken longer than an hour to create.

In short, I was rather dissappointed and do not reccomend this flash-movie to anyone substantially interested in "exotic chocolates".

Really... the symbolism wasn't obvious enough...

*Sniff!* That was beautiful....

Yeah... illwillpress sucks.....

ZekeySpaceyLizard responds:

hula hoop

THIS TOTALLY KICKS!!!!

I love the Boondock Saints. Great job. This was absolutley halarious.

Great job!

You've shown us the true meaning of christmas- shooting little kids.

Short and sweet. Absolutley loved it!

GrenadeLock responds:

Yeah. All cool kids are doing it at xmas.

Meh...

They started off really good, but then just turned to crap. If you want a serious anti-fad compilation, then using a movie made in poorly-drawn anime style is a bad move.

The only one with any redeemable qualities, in fact, was the first one. The fbf was awesome and the animation blew me away. But the others were just bad. I mean, if you want to make something anti-fad, then it should be better that what you're insulting. The Xombie one, for example, could have been much better.

Please.

I give it three months before you turn this into some porn series.

I've always wondered why the hell you continue to animate crap like this when you are loathed by every competent animator on the planet. Money, maybe? You shameless whore. Go get some talent.

Amazing!

You've taken the true power of Flash 8 over and beyond- yes, the file size is bigger, but the art and animation were FREAK. I loved the effects you did, with the sunset, the fading, everything. You must have worked hard, considering you had to do all that art and all the music.

This is the greatest Flash movie ever. Congratulations. You've deservedly won #1 again ^_^

I envy you.

Not bad.

But of course we can all see why everyone votes five on this and it got #13. Just put "vote 5 to see hot xxx Joanime pics" at the end, and you've got yourself #1.

But seriously, it was a rather decent flash, and worth a laugh or two.

ahaherahaher...

Silly protestants.

I wouldn't call this blasphemy.. it's funny.

televangelism itself is blasphemy...

I expected better.

You turned a quick 30-second sketchy b/w animation into a quick 30-second sketchy color animation.

Personally, I'm a fan of your work, but the animation seemed too dry. If you had put more effort into this, it would be awesome.

And the song didn't seem to go along with the animation. And I'm pretty sure if I bothered to look up the song and find a translation, it would be completley irrelevant to the movie.

And maybe it's just me, but it was way too blatantly rabid-anime-fangirlish.... the exaggerated expressions combined with the background music kinda made me queasy... like it came from someone who calls themselves an "otaku". (let's not get into the true connotation here, shall we?)

overall, this animation was not anything special coming from newgrounds, but you could make it much better.

Crusty old-timer.

Zebu Black @TheZebu

Age 35, Male

Starving Artist

UCF

USA

Joined on 6/10/03

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